The Earth shall never stop rotating because of me; because I had a breakup. Though it will be tough to walk through this painful path alone, I knew I had to be strong. I cried for days, not been eating and sleeping well for days but why I seemed to be torturing myself here?

I admit I am a crybaby, when things happened.. Crying is the best way to feel better! Maybe it is for certain period, certain stuffs and issues but definitely not for all occasions. It will just make myself look weaker and less independent.

I accepted the fact that I have to move on; not only because for him but too, I really thought through alot during this period. Am i expecting too much? Or is it he is not the one who is willing to do anything for me? I want a relationship not to test out whether we will be happy together or not, but when we decided to be in love and be together, we will do everything to work things out. I learnt alot this time! Not only I know what I want for a guy, but too.. What and where I must improve to be a better woman. It is time I learn to be independent. Maybe friends felt that it is not bad to be dependent on someone you love but this is the woman that I really want to be like.. Independent, strong, will know how to hide her feelings to the most bottom of the heart when she is outside, do not live in the past and know how precious future is, be more understanding and matured too and the list will go on and on.

People questioned me, after i recovered.. Will I accept a new relationship? *Haha* For now, I will say no, firmly! Not because I was so hurt by him but because I know I just want to be alone, do all the stuffs that I will not get to do when I am attached. When I am someone’s girlfriend, my mind will be busy with what should i cook for him, have coffee with him, support and understand him by writing letters and doing little funny, cutie stuffs for him.. Too busy to do ALL the stuffs I want to do! Let this break be a mould-ing period for me, I just want to beautify the areas which I need to improve. Also, I will say after this experience gained.. I will need more time to consider before jumping into a new relationship even if I were to have any crush feelings with that guy *Lol*. If I am confident that I can live on better and happier without the guy, I’ll not choose to be in love with him.

Unconsciously for the past one year plus,  I lost myself; the unique Zi Xin was gone whenever things happened or when argument arose. I even do stuffs like begging him back but each time i forgot that when I was crying bitterly, he was never there for me, his calls or sms were never there.  Each time when i was crying bitterly for him, it was so painful but he would still be gaming with his friends and sleeping after the games. Yes, because he felt that he had no wrong thus, there were not any need for him to ask for my return. Rather than sinking in sorrow and keep thinking about the past and how loving we used to be, why not accept the fact that he will not be the one for me.. Maybe I was not as understanding then, maybe he was not as great as to be able to understand how I felt too but we clearly know that none of us were wrong to fall in love. Just that, we both used our own selfish way to love one another.

Since we understood that, we should be happy as we can still be friends. I believed while time is healing our pain, we will always be praying for each other to be happier!

I am still feeling the pain, especially when i woke up and opened my eyes.. I felt lonely and still not used when no one greets me good morning, urges me to eat and wakes me up for work etc. Still, I am trying hard to control my pain and tears. Well, not necessary all good things will be lasting and be thankful for all the good times I had gained; packed and stored the good times in my memory and move on to adopt life without him.

It was and till now, it is tough! But thanks to all my friends who were always there for me. Despite being busy, they will not fail to give me a call or drop me a message to make sure I am feeling better. Whenever I am feeling really down, they will always be there to support and tell me that I can endure this tough period. They always wish to see me being happy and constantly reminding me not to give up and look back. They are the ones who will never call me a crybaby when I cried. They are the only ones who will not insult and scold me. They are the only ones who will never give me up and leave me. Thanks to them, their support is really very crucial to me right now. I really appreciate them so much! Thanks guys

I will try and must be, doing well and strong even if I lost him. JIAYOU!